Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection Hardcover – April 14, 2015

As a career salesperson I really enjoyed the book. If I were still in management I would make it required reading for prospective new sales people.

As someone with autism who has experienced trauma from not fully understanding social relationships, combined with a learning disability, I’ve often avoided situations where I might face rejection. While this avoidance offers temporary relief, it hasn’t helped my long-term growth. Due to common misconceptions about autism, I frequently assumed people were rejecting me as a person rather than just my requests. Jia Jiang’s "Rejection Proof" experiment, where he deliberately sought out rejection, has changed my perspective. In many cases, people weren’t rejecting him personally; they were simply saying no to his requests. Often, they genuinely liked him and even offered alternatives. I admire his courage to leave his job to pursue this journey, doing things that would make anyone nervous. His honesty about his experiences, without sugarcoating, is something I deeply respect. While reading this book won’t make you completely immune to rejection or enable you to handle everything alone, the skills and insights you gain—if applied to everyday life—can help you understand that rejection isn’t always a bad thing. It can be an opportunity to grow, step outside your comfort zone, and become a better version of yourself.

Every encounter with another human being creates the opportunity for rejection. The fear of rejection is a barrier and violently limits us. Even for someone like me who has been in sales for 40-years. What I learned or what was validated is summarized below.Suggestion - get the audible version. The person who speaks the book draws you in. Jia's stories are fun. You feel the moment, the stress, the fear, the tension, the release, the laughter, and ultimately how he learned (and we can too) to enjoy the journey. Don't miss his story and how it can impact your life if you have any dealings with other humans at all. If you are a recluse on a deserted island, you can pass.1. Rejection is human - a human interaction with 2 sides. Rejection says more about the rejector than the rejectee. Should never be used as the universal truth or sole judgment of merit.2. Taking a no - ask why before goodbye. Sustain the conversation after rejection by asking "why."3. Retreat, don't run - don't give up after a rejection. Retreat to a "lesser yes."4. Collaborate, don't contend - never argue with a rejector. Instead, try to collaborate with the rejector to make the request happen.5. Switch up, don't give up - before deciding to quit, step back and make the request to a different person in a different environment or under a different circumstance.6. Positioning for yes - give my why. By explaining the reasoning behind the request, it is more likely to be accepted7. Start with I - starting with "I" can give the requestor more authentic control of the request. Never pretend to think in the other person's interests without genuinely knowing them.8. Acknowledge doubts - by admitting obvious and possible objections with the other person, one can increase the level of trust between the 2 parties.9. Target the audience - by choosing a more appropriate audience, one increases the chances of being accepted10. Giving a no - patience and respect. Rejection is hard to deliver so deliver it without ever belittling the rejectee. Be direct. Avoid convoluted set-up and reasoning.11. Offer alternatives - by offering alternatives to get a yes or concessions, you can make the other person a fan, even in rejection12. Finding upside - motivation. Rejection can be motivations to fuel your fire for achievement. By taking emotion out of rejection, you can improve your idea or product.13. Worthiness - sometimes it is good to be rejected, especially if the idea is influenced by group-think or radically creative.14. Character building - by seeking rejection in tough environments, one can build up the mental toughness to go after greater goals15. Finding meaning - find empathy. All rejections are shared by many people in the world. You can obtain empathy and understanding of other people who have faced similar rejection.16. Find value - repeated rejections can serve as the measuring stick for one's values and beliefs17. Find mission - sometimes the most brutal rejections in life signal a new beginning and mission for the rejectee18. Finding freedom - freedom to ask, freedom to accept ourselves19. Finding power - detachment from results. Focus on controllable factors, not on acceptance or rejection

We all fear rejection in some way shape or form and at some point in our lives. Unfortunately most of us do not conquer this fear of rejection and it manifests in our behaviours and dealings with others. Jia Jiang proposes an alternate approach by taking rejection head on. Through a serious of experiments Jiang overcomes is fear of rejection and lives to tell his story.What I enjoyed about the book was going through Jiang's various stories and examples and how he matched them to overcoming aspects of rejection. It all stems from our insecurity in feeling like everyone will reject us at some point. Jiang provides a simple solution in that being confident, friendly and open is the beginning. We need to couple this foundation with rethinking the outcome (the upside, the meaning, the freedom or the power or being rejected).Suffice to say this book is jam packed with many stories and examples through Jiang's journey of becoming rejection proof! Worth checking out as I found it to be a good read.Three key takeaways from the book:1. Rejection happens, don't take it personally, be tough and move on. Amazing things happen when you have nothing to lose2. Most likely the biggest reason people do not talk about rejection is because they find it easier to talk about failure3. Within our brain, rejection pain equals physical pain. Hence why most people rank rejection so high as a fear

It's one of the best books I have ever read. I just finished reading it, and I'm going to read it again after my next book.