Zen and the Art of Falling in Love Paperback – February 2, 2004

I have to admit I am a fan of Dr. Shoshanna. I am interested in 'real' Zen practice and 'philosophy" if Zen has a philosophy at all!But really folks, this is not the magazine variety 'help' column for lonely hearts. Rather a provocative look at the positive ways we can help ourselves return to a sane overview of what we are feeling and what, if anything, to do about it.I have had "crushes" that lasted (and still do) decades upon decades. But what to "do" about them? This little book will help blaze a new understanding of how living in the moment really is the path to a meaningful relationship and put a lasso around the runaway feelings we call "Love". If you will permit me a little editorializing, Love is a product of Will as Rollo May so aptly said. It is not a feeling but a choice. And for our Christian believers, of which I am one, this was exemplified when Jesus was nailed to the cross for love of humanity.So yes, I heartily recommend this book for those who would like a new perspective, outside of the sandbox of garden variety relationship how to's, on how to really love. Hint: it's not about You the Lover!Take a chance and get Happy!

I bought this book 6 or 7 years ago, having liked what I saw from a quick browsing at the bookstore, but I was so much more impressed than I ever could have hoped. For me, it has truly been life-changing. I read it a second time a few years ago and since then have left it on my bedside table--I might read a few pages or a chapter every week or month, and plan to "always" be reading it.The approaches and lessons taught can be applied not only to love relationships, but to work and life in general. Some of the case studies can be a little cheesy, but I completely relate to so many examples that I'm amazed. I can be pretty "Type A" about certain things, and this has helped me to... enjoy the moment by setting aside expectations, learn to just be.I think what this world needs is a lot more Zen. Read this book and pass it on to your friends and newly engaged or married couples!

Zen and the Art of Falling in Love is a simple, insightful look at the enigma that is Love. It is a look into the truth of the matter - that Love is only attainable when we look inside of ourselves first - and really look ... not just cast a brief glance into who we are, where we've been, and what we've experienced.The quotes interspersed throughout the book, as well as the "Stepping Stones" at the end of each chapter make this a book filled with practical, meangingful and real information that is sure to affect, inspire and find its way into your life (usually when you least expect it!).

For me, this book is one of the most important books I ever read. Brenda Shoshanna's insights made me curious and I started to practice Zen meditation myself. During my practice, I learned a lot about myself and my way to relate to others, and I could experience most of what the book talked about. It was a transformational experience that was greatly beneficial for my life and meditation is now a vital part of my life. Thank you for this book!

I am amazed at the little number of reviews of the book after having reading it. I love the Way Shoshana explains the basic rituals and elements of zen and blends them together with the practicality and reality of romantic relationships. The fact that the author is also a psychologist tremendously helps to mix both psychology of relationships and zen spirituality in an harmonic way, and in a way that is easy to understand and approachable for the lay reader. The result is a very unique book that will enchant spiritual people who aren't religious, religious people who are zen, and lay people with a need for food for the soul, not just dating tips that rarely work.The book needs of you to be brutally honest with yourself, and might bring some tears to your eyes when you evaluate your past or present relationships and realize that you are/were part of the problem. Still the book does not intend blaming yourself, but making identify which of your behaviour or attitudes are sabotaging your romantic relationships.The book is structured in three main sections: 1/ Becoming Available. 2/. Zen in Action. 3/ Developing endurance. Each part finishes with a summary of the teachings in it and a series of exercises and journaling questions to work on. They come handy as a summary when you do a second reading. My fav section is the second one, as tackles most of the issues that are important to me in relating and dealing with falling in love, dealing with trouble in relationships, and growing relationships in a healthy way.My main concern with the teachings of the book is the fine line that separates being completely giving and accepting of a situation and becoming a doormat. Although it is clearly specified that they are two very different things, where do we put the line? I would have liked a bit of more detail and comment on that.The price is fantastic especially having into account the quality of the book. Make yourself a favour and buy a copy.Most recommended.

Beginning was strong. Then I got bored. Some of the zen practices I do not agree with, seem too extreme.

After my divorce, this book helped me center myself and realize what I actually wanted out of a relationship.And every time I recommended the book and lent out my copy....it didn't come back.So this is me finally buying hardcover. Some book you just want to read....and some books you need to live with.

It's a great book about self love, finding love, finding yourself, and maintaining true love. This is a book that came to me at the perfect moment in my life when I was facing my worst in love. It's a must read. And I will continue to read this over and over through the years.