How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving Paperback – November 2, 2021

Still in the beginning of the book, but just love it so far. It's already worth the money spent, which is why I feel comfortable giving it a premature review.First, I'll comment on the seller, RRP Books, as I bought a used book. I found the seller's description of the book condition to be very accurate and would trust buying used books from them again. My book is in like new condition and was reasonably priced.About David Richo... I see several people posted negative reviews and can't help but wonder if at least a few of them completely missed the mark of what the author is getting at in principle. This is not a save your relationship book at all... it is about using mindfulness to be a better partner in a relationship and also find more peace within yourself and your relationships with others... and one could extend these same principles to all interpersonal relationships, not just the romantic ones. I totally get and appreciate what the author is saying and find it immensely helpful. Also, I love that he's incorporating western psyche (Jung and others) and eastern mindfulness and detachment of ego. In essence we need to have a healthy Self and then let go of the egocentric part that sometimes induces fear-based and anxiety-driven thinking / action and impedes healthy relating and being. The author advocates loving through giving our partners (and I would say anybody we love) attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. This is a very healthy way of being, and by the way... if you are doing these things and are in a struggling relationship, you might be able to save it by becoming a better partner -that presupposes, of course, that the relationship is worth saving in that your partner is suitable and also willing to work on being a giving healthy partner who respects you. Equally, if you have to let go of a relationship, applying the principles and practices in this book could help you do so with less pain by realizing what is good and healthy for you and accepting yourself and your partner for who you are as individuals even if you can't make it together as a couple.My own two cents... in my opinion, a lot of people in this world focus on giving their partner attention, appreciation, and affection early on in a relationship... but if these things dwindle later on they often give way to projected fears that the relationship has changed or one partner is not giving their all, or may be cheating, etc. etc. Really, though, how many people give their partner complete acceptance and allow them to be who they are as they are in the present moment without focusing too much on delving into the past or fearful projection about the future? Sometimes, though, a relationship isn't right for us. By practicing mindfulness we can see when a relationship is healthy, needs work, or needs to be let go of for our benefit. I think people who are happy are not only compatible (even if they are opposites they can be compatible as complements) but really accept their partners and support their partners healthy personal growth without trying to control or change them (or the relationship) into someone they really aren't or aren't meant to be. I think happy couples can also feel relaxed around each other, trust each other, nurture one another's talents and individual life passions, and give themselves and each other space to be who they are and change and grow without feeling threatened. Such feelings arise from our own insecurities. Anyway, I bought this book because I want to practice mindfulness and be a better person for myself and also for the people around me -not just romantic partners.I digress; getting back to the author... I like David Richo's style, though the writing is more simple and not literary genius. It is also very, very repetitive, but I like that it is repetitive so the key points get driven into my brain. He also writes in a more loose style, which is very suitable for a book on mindfulness. Not everyone will appreciate that and some may prefer a more scholarly or western-style authoritative and linear approach. David Richo's style works for me, and I'll definitely buy other books of his. I am also interested in learning about mindful eating to develop a healthier relationship with food and be a physically healthier person. Healthy body, mind, soul... we are all constant works in progress.

David Richio's declared formula for adult relationships: Acceptance, Appreciation, Attention, Affection and Allowing brings new depth and meaning to each effort. He has generously shared seasoned psychotherapist applicable insights from years of his private practice. I am on Chapter 4 and deem it a superbly well written book of therapeutic measures to approach and genuinely consider proper measures to welcome an adult relationship bound for potential success when two people merge and grow together. No more excuses! Hit or miss! or I didn't know or that works for others not my kind of thinking. Ignorant mantras! This sweet companion book literally holds me actively accountable for my own work before connecting with a potential mate. Those who are already in a commitment can rectify, if needed, with this highly insightful yet seldomly practiced approach to dive into knowing thyself based on personal inventory of one's own unique humanity and sustaining quaities. At the core of every human being is LOVE. The work of dismantllng/sabotaging layers of emotional barriers definitely requires therapeutic processes. Stevie's timeless lyrics, 'Love is in need of love today. Did you ever think that love would be in need of love today?' rings a strong note to anyone who is in love with being in love for all the right reasons. I owe it to myself to take a humbling seat and read this potentially life changing/correcting book. Taking full egoless self-inventory of establishing and renewing principles to welcome thriving relationships is inescapable. If we service our relationships like we service our vehicles, we will assuredly LEARN OR WIN within our love for each other! PRICELESS!

Very great book. Totally recommend.

I wavered between a three-star rating and a four-star rating for this book. I wanted to give this book a three-star rating because it is saturated with soaring and overly broad prose, references to Jungian psychology that won't help readers who are unfamiliar with constructs central to that body of work, and frequent appeals to Eastern spirituality. (Certainly all of these things are the author's prerogative, but a reader looking for practical advice would rightly feel somewhat misled by the title of the book, the book's description on this site, and even the back cover of the book, despite the latter's mention of Buddhism.)Yet I give this book a four-star rating because, when Richo does get around to offering specific, practical advice, it is outstanding. Particularly helpful are the author's thoughts on how introverts and extroverts receive and express love differently. I am currently in what I would consider an extrovert-introvert relationship, and I plan to consult this table over and over as a reminder. Another high point is the author's discussion of fear of abandonment and fear of engulfment. In fact, my attention heightened every time I encountered a table in the book, because putting information in a table forced the author to be succinct and boil things down to the key points - which I think he perceives more acutely than any author I've seen so far.When I looked back at the reviews on this site after reading the book (as I did before purchasing the book), I wondered if I was crazy for not being happier with the book than I was. I suspect that for a reader who understands the word "mindful" as connotative of Zen "mindfulness" and is looking for a book that looks at relationships through this lens, this is exactly the book that he/she has been looking for. Personally, I came away from this book feeling like I had to wade through a lot in order to get to the part that was really helpful for me. But the part that was helpful was very good, and I'm not sure I would have gotten it from any other book.I recommend this book for anyone who is inexperienced in love (or possessed of a lot of negative experiences and looking for help) and wants a thorough exploration of the various phases of a romantic relationship - and doesn't mind a fairly wordy writing style.