--- product_id: 281115229 title: "My Dark Vanessa: A Novel" price: "Bs.246" currency: BOB in_stock: true reviews_count: 13 url: https://www.desertcart.bo/products/281115229-my-dark-vanessa-a-novel store_origin: BO region: Bolivia --- # My Dark Vanessa: A Novel **Price:** Bs.246 **Availability:** ✅ In Stock ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** My Dark Vanessa: A Novel - **How much does it cost?** Bs.246 with free shipping - **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.bo](https://www.desertcart.bo/products/281115229-my-dark-vanessa-a-novel) ## Best For - Customers looking for quality international products ## Why This Product - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Description INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “[An] exceedingly complex, inventive, resourceful examination of harm and power.” — The New York Times Book Review , Editors’ Choice “A lightning rod . . . brilliantly crafted.”— The Washington Post Recommended by The New York Times • USA Today • Entertainment Weekly • Marie Claire • Elle • Harper's Bazaar • Newsweek • New York Post • Esquire • Real Simple • The Sunday Times • The Guardian • and more! Exploring the psychological dynamics of the relationship between a precocious yet naïve teenage girl and her magnetic and manipulative teacher, a brilliant, all-consuming psychological fiction read that marks the explosive debut of an extraordinary new writer. 2000 . Bright, ambitious, and yearning for adulthood, fifteen-year-old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with Jacob Strane, her magnetic and guileful forty-two-year-old English teacher. 2017. Amid the rising wave of allegations against powerful men, a reckoning is coming due. Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, who reaches out to Vanessa, and now Vanessa suddenly finds herself facing an impossible choice: remain silent, firm in the belief that her teenage self willingly engaged in this relationship, or redefine herself and the events of her past. But how can Vanessa reject her first love, the man who fundamentally transformed her and has been a persistent presence in her life? Is it possible that the man she loved as a teenager—and who professed to worship only her—may be far different from what she has always believed? Alternating between Vanessa’s present and her past, this dark academic novel juxtaposes memory and trauma with the breathless excitement of a teenage girl discovering the power her own body can wield. Thought-provoking and impossible to put down, this is a masterful portrayal of troubled adolescence and its repercussions that raises vital questions about agency, consent, complicity, and victimhood. Written with the haunting intimacy of The Girls and the creeping intensity of Room, My Dark Vanessa is an era-defining work of thought-provoking literary fiction that brilliantly captures and reflects the shifting cultural mores transforming our relationships and society itself. Review: Insightful, poignant, but harrowing - My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell: Russell presents the story of Vanessa Wye, a fifteen-year-old who becomes ensnared in the web cast by devious, psychologically wily forty-something English teacher, Jacob Strane, when Vanessa enrolls in an exclusive New England boarding school. The story of Vanessa’s psychological destruction is dark, disturbing, and disheartening but insightfully accurate. Vanessa is sharply precocious but socially insecure as are many bright adolescents. Strane is sufficiently knowledgeable to recognize that Vanessa is a potential accomplice for a sexual liaison. Russell’s portrayal of the careful psychological grooming of the victim by the predator and the culpability of the prey is spot-on. Also illuminating is the portrayal of the romantic need and emotional power of the youthful victim that are energized when the victim, Vanessa, is forced to protect her lover and her own view of the romance when the improper liaison finally comes to light. Many readers will (and have) find fault with Russell’s Vanessa being disappointed in Vanessa’s inability to see and accept how badly she was used and to admit how despicable the behavior of her lover. Some readers also complain that Russell presents no admirable characters---not her parents, not her school administrators, not her other classmates, not her post-high school boyfriend. They miss the reality in such cases of pedophilic accomplishment. The youthful victim is a victim because of the perfect storm of events and key figures in the victim’s milieu. There is, in fact, one shining knight in Vanessa’s eventual resurrection and that is Ruby, Vanessa’s psychiatrist. Ruby is aware that Vanessa’s recovery will take time, time to develop trust, time to strengthen what little positive self-image and ego strength still remain, and the ability to make a timely but necessary confrontation of Vanessa’s wall of defense. The end of the book gives hope that Ruby and Vanessa will find success in opening a new and brighter chapter in Vanessa’s life. Russell’s ability to capture the psycho-sexual hold that the pedophilic predator has on his/her victim makes for the accuracy and the allure of her telling. Two passages at the end of the book aptly illustrate her writing power. Vanessa is twenty-something, her life a mess, cannot successfully manage a mundane job, she hoards, her apartment and her personal appearance disheveled, has many meaningless sexual hook-ups (all often typically the result of a disastrous adolescent sexual experience), and one day spots Strane taking a classroom of students on an art museum tour: I’m twenty-five when it happens. Walking to work, wearing my black suit and black flats, I cross Congress Street and there he is, standing with a dozen kids in front of the art museum, teenagers, students, mostly girls. I watch from a distance, clutching my purse to my side. He lets the museum door close behind him and I go to work, sit at the concierge desk and imagine him moving through the rooms, trailing the bright-haired girls. In my mind, I follow along behind, don’t let him out of my sight. This, I think is probably what I’ll do for the rest of my life: chase after him and what he gave me. It’s my fault. I was supposed to have grown out of it by now. He never promised to love me forever. The next night he calls. It’s late, on my walk home from work, when the only lit-up windows downtown are the bars and pizza-by-the-slice places. The sight of his name on the screen makes my knees give out. I have to lean against a building when I answer. The sound of him grabs me by the throat. “Did I see you?” he asks. “Or was it a ghost?” He starts calling weekly, always late at night. We talk a little about who I am now—the hotel job, the never-ending parade of boys, my mom’s pursed-lip disappointment in me, my dad’s diabetes and bad heart—but mostly we talk about who I used to be. Together we remember the scenes in the little office behind the classroom, at his house, in the station wagon parked on the side of an old logging road, the rolling blueberry barren where I climbed on top of him, the chickadee call and apiary drone drifting in through the open car widow. Our details pool together. He and I re-create it vividly, too vividly. When he moves away from remembering me and begins to talk about the girls in his classes, I follow him. He describes the pale underbellies of their arms when they raise their hands, the tendrils that escape their ponytails, the flush that travels down their necks when he tells them they’re precious and rare. He says it’s unbearable, the way they drip with beauty. He tells me he calls them up to his desk, his hand on their knees. “I pretend they’re you,” he says, and my mouth waters as though a bell’s been rung, signaling a long-buried craving. I roll onto my stomach, shove a pillow between my legs. Keep going, don’t stop. Russell’s writing is almost lyrical, and you have to stop and remind yourself that she is describing the thoughts of a pedophile and the now indelible mind/body entrancement he has worked on the psyche of his victim. Richard R. Review: Complex and Poignant - This is a big book, a lot to take in. I still feel it simmering inside of me as I try to decide if I liked it or not. From the beginning, Strane reminded me of so many men I’ve known. The way he masterfully makes her feel special and different reminds me of the lines I have fallen for. Her quest, determination, to be different, older, wiser, something that the other girls are not - is also incredibly relatable. I believe what compels Vanessa to continue to pursue Strane is a mixture of not being accepted by her own peers and the desire so many of us have to be grown up before we really are. The way she continually reassures herself that the relationship was good for her, that he was good to her, that she was a willing participant is heartbreaking. I think Vanessa also speaks to the reality that so many women have truly simply accepted the fact that we will be groped, touched, spoken to, and harassed by men. In so many ways she just accepts this reality. When she’s discussing with Taylor what happened it’s almost as if she’s jealous. She needs to make sure that she’s the only one Strane had a relationship with. That he actually loved her. She blames Taylor for coming forward. She diminishes Taylor’s experience because it was just a knee touch. It’s innocuous to her. She honestly believes Taylor is overreacting. More infuriating to me is when I find myself agreeing with Vanessa. What is the big deal? Was it more? Is Taylor hiding something? If it was just a knee touch, what is the big deal? It further pushes me to realize that I have simply accepted that men will do these things and it’s nothing more than an annoyance. I also sense that Vanessa resents Taylor’s ability to recognize herself as a victim. Vanessa has a very relatable struggle with this. She said yes, right. She agreed to it. She even, at times, pursued it. How can she be a victim? She needs Strane because in so many ways, he is all she’s ever had. She likes the power she feels when she’s with him. Power isn’t anything she’s ever felt as a direct result of being an outcast with her peers. She is often confused by the power dynamic in her relationship with Strane. She frequently doesn’t know who is in control. Strane is so well written. He’s manipulative, he gaslights, he is controlling. He is the embodiment of SO MANY MEN. He is only physically attracted to her (while she’s still young.) He doesn’t love her. He doesn’t protect her. He thinks for her. He condescends her. He often rapes her. He uses her and throws her away when it’s not convenient for him. She’s his Real Doll. I hate him. I thoroughly hate him. It’s interesting watching Vanessa dance between loving the attention and hating the sex. She wants him to want her but she has out of body experiences when he touches her. She plays with this with Henry, her professor. She needs him to desire her but she doesn’t want to consummate the relationship. Henry, at least, has the good sense and decency to abstain from pursing her. Once again, however, we see another manipulative male, trying to lay the ground work, asking for her to pursue him so he can have her. He’s a softer version of Strane. The men in this book are written incredibly realistically. Henry is no hero. Finally, the book ends just when Vanessa begins to realize who she actually is without Strane. In so many ways, Strane, was the most important person in her life. Her relationship with him did define her though she constantly fought that truth. I hope Vanessa truly can find out who she is and I wish her all of the happiness in the world. One of the most compelling aspects of this book is the question of whether or not victims have a responsibility to share their stories. Vanessa doesn’t want to pile onto the MeToo movement. I find myself completely understanding her feelings on that. Her story is her story. She doesn’t have to share it with the world to also feel compassion for other victims. That said, i don’t believe she actually feels any compassion or empathy for Strane’s other victims because they didn’t suffer enough. He didn’t go far enough and if he had, I do believe she would have felt replaced, betrayed, and jealous. This book also asks us to determine what actually constitutes abuse. How far does it have to go? Again, we’ve been so conditioned to not only expect but accept some (not all) of these behaviors. They’re “normal” behaviors. I appreciate the complexity of this novel and the struggle Vanessa goes through. I don’t always like Vanessa but I find her incredibly relatable. I may not have had an affair with my high school teacher but I certainly have experienced a lot of creepy men, especially as a teen and when I was in my early 20s. Vanessa’s story is unique in that it goes so far over the edge that it falls off the cliff but I think most women have had experiences with adult men who, if nothing else, touched their knee, massaged their neck, had conversations with them on AOL or other exposures. I will ruminate on this book for a long time. It wasn’t entertaining but it was thought provoking. ## Technical Specifications | Specification | Value | |---------------|-------| | Best Sellers Rank | #11,105 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #99 in Psychological Fiction (Books) #255 in Literary Fiction (Books) #264 in Coming of Age Fiction (Books) | | Customer Reviews | 4.2 out of 5 stars 43,935 Reviews | ## Images ![My Dark Vanessa: A Novel - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81k8ETZO+pL.jpg) ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Insightful, poignant, but harrowing *by R***D on May 5, 2025* My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell: Russell presents the story of Vanessa Wye, a fifteen-year-old who becomes ensnared in the web cast by devious, psychologically wily forty-something English teacher, Jacob Strane, when Vanessa enrolls in an exclusive New England boarding school. The story of Vanessa’s psychological destruction is dark, disturbing, and disheartening but insightfully accurate. Vanessa is sharply precocious but socially insecure as are many bright adolescents. Strane is sufficiently knowledgeable to recognize that Vanessa is a potential accomplice for a sexual liaison. Russell’s portrayal of the careful psychological grooming of the victim by the predator and the culpability of the prey is spot-on. Also illuminating is the portrayal of the romantic need and emotional power of the youthful victim that are energized when the victim, Vanessa, is forced to protect her lover and her own view of the romance when the improper liaison finally comes to light. Many readers will (and have) find fault with Russell’s Vanessa being disappointed in Vanessa’s inability to see and accept how badly she was used and to admit how despicable the behavior of her lover. Some readers also complain that Russell presents no admirable characters---not her parents, not her school administrators, not her other classmates, not her post-high school boyfriend. They miss the reality in such cases of pedophilic accomplishment. The youthful victim is a victim because of the perfect storm of events and key figures in the victim’s milieu. There is, in fact, one shining knight in Vanessa’s eventual resurrection and that is Ruby, Vanessa’s psychiatrist. Ruby is aware that Vanessa’s recovery will take time, time to develop trust, time to strengthen what little positive self-image and ego strength still remain, and the ability to make a timely but necessary confrontation of Vanessa’s wall of defense. The end of the book gives hope that Ruby and Vanessa will find success in opening a new and brighter chapter in Vanessa’s life. Russell’s ability to capture the psycho-sexual hold that the pedophilic predator has on his/her victim makes for the accuracy and the allure of her telling. Two passages at the end of the book aptly illustrate her writing power. Vanessa is twenty-something, her life a mess, cannot successfully manage a mundane job, she hoards, her apartment and her personal appearance disheveled, has many meaningless sexual hook-ups (all often typically the result of a disastrous adolescent sexual experience), and one day spots Strane taking a classroom of students on an art museum tour: I’m twenty-five when it happens. Walking to work, wearing my black suit and black flats, I cross Congress Street and there he is, standing with a dozen kids in front of the art museum, teenagers, students, mostly girls. I watch from a distance, clutching my purse to my side. He lets the museum door close behind him and I go to work, sit at the concierge desk and imagine him moving through the rooms, trailing the bright-haired girls. In my mind, I follow along behind, don’t let him out of my sight. This, I think is probably what I’ll do for the rest of my life: chase after him and what he gave me. It’s my fault. I was supposed to have grown out of it by now. He never promised to love me forever. The next night he calls. It’s late, on my walk home from work, when the only lit-up windows downtown are the bars and pizza-by-the-slice places. The sight of his name on the screen makes my knees give out. I have to lean against a building when I answer. The sound of him grabs me by the throat. “Did I see you?” he asks. “Or was it a ghost?” He starts calling weekly, always late at night. We talk a little about who I am now—the hotel job, the never-ending parade of boys, my mom’s pursed-lip disappointment in me, my dad’s diabetes and bad heart—but mostly we talk about who I used to be. Together we remember the scenes in the little office behind the classroom, at his house, in the station wagon parked on the side of an old logging road, the rolling blueberry barren where I climbed on top of him, the chickadee call and apiary drone drifting in through the open car widow. Our details pool together. He and I re-create it vividly, too vividly. When he moves away from remembering me and begins to talk about the girls in his classes, I follow him. He describes the pale underbellies of their arms when they raise their hands, the tendrils that escape their ponytails, the flush that travels down their necks when he tells them they’re precious and rare. He says it’s unbearable, the way they drip with beauty. He tells me he calls them up to his desk, his hand on their knees. “I pretend they’re you,” he says, and my mouth waters as though a bell’s been rung, signaling a long-buried craving. I roll onto my stomach, shove a pillow between my legs. Keep going, don’t stop. Russell’s writing is almost lyrical, and you have to stop and remind yourself that she is describing the thoughts of a pedophile and the now indelible mind/body entrancement he has worked on the psyche of his victim. Richard R. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Complex and Poignant *by C***R on August 2, 2024* This is a big book, a lot to take in. I still feel it simmering inside of me as I try to decide if I liked it or not. From the beginning, Strane reminded me of so many men I’ve known. The way he masterfully makes her feel special and different reminds me of the lines I have fallen for. Her quest, determination, to be different, older, wiser, something that the other girls are not - is also incredibly relatable. I believe what compels Vanessa to continue to pursue Strane is a mixture of not being accepted by her own peers and the desire so many of us have to be grown up before we really are. The way she continually reassures herself that the relationship was good for her, that he was good to her, that she was a willing participant is heartbreaking. I think Vanessa also speaks to the reality that so many women have truly simply accepted the fact that we will be groped, touched, spoken to, and harassed by men. In so many ways she just accepts this reality. When she’s discussing with Taylor what happened it’s almost as if she’s jealous. She needs to make sure that she’s the only one Strane had a relationship with. That he actually loved her. She blames Taylor for coming forward. She diminishes Taylor’s experience because it was just a knee touch. It’s innocuous to her. She honestly believes Taylor is overreacting. More infuriating to me is when I find myself agreeing with Vanessa. What is the big deal? Was it more? Is Taylor hiding something? If it was just a knee touch, what is the big deal? It further pushes me to realize that I have simply accepted that men will do these things and it’s nothing more than an annoyance. I also sense that Vanessa resents Taylor’s ability to recognize herself as a victim. Vanessa has a very relatable struggle with this. She said yes, right. She agreed to it. She even, at times, pursued it. How can she be a victim? She needs Strane because in so many ways, he is all she’s ever had. She likes the power she feels when she’s with him. Power isn’t anything she’s ever felt as a direct result of being an outcast with her peers. She is often confused by the power dynamic in her relationship with Strane. She frequently doesn’t know who is in control. Strane is so well written. He’s manipulative, he gaslights, he is controlling. He is the embodiment of SO MANY MEN. He is only physically attracted to her (while she’s still young.) He doesn’t love her. He doesn’t protect her. He thinks for her. He condescends her. He often rapes her. He uses her and throws her away when it’s not convenient for him. She’s his Real Doll. I hate him. I thoroughly hate him. It’s interesting watching Vanessa dance between loving the attention and hating the sex. She wants him to want her but she has out of body experiences when he touches her. She plays with this with Henry, her professor. She needs him to desire her but she doesn’t want to consummate the relationship. Henry, at least, has the good sense and decency to abstain from pursing her. Once again, however, we see another manipulative male, trying to lay the ground work, asking for her to pursue him so he can have her. He’s a softer version of Strane. The men in this book are written incredibly realistically. Henry is no hero. Finally, the book ends just when Vanessa begins to realize who she actually is without Strane. In so many ways, Strane, was the most important person in her life. Her relationship with him did define her though she constantly fought that truth. I hope Vanessa truly can find out who she is and I wish her all of the happiness in the world. One of the most compelling aspects of this book is the question of whether or not victims have a responsibility to share their stories. Vanessa doesn’t want to pile onto the MeToo movement. I find myself completely understanding her feelings on that. Her story is her story. She doesn’t have to share it with the world to also feel compassion for other victims. That said, i don’t believe she actually feels any compassion or empathy for Strane’s other victims because they didn’t suffer enough. He didn’t go far enough and if he had, I do believe she would have felt replaced, betrayed, and jealous. This book also asks us to determine what actually constitutes abuse. How far does it have to go? Again, we’ve been so conditioned to not only expect but accept some (not all) of these behaviors. They’re “normal” behaviors. I appreciate the complexity of this novel and the struggle Vanessa goes through. I don’t always like Vanessa but I find her incredibly relatable. I may not have had an affair with my high school teacher but I certainly have experienced a lot of creepy men, especially as a teen and when I was in my early 20s. Vanessa’s story is unique in that it goes so far over the edge that it falls off the cliff but I think most women have had experiences with adult men who, if nothing else, touched their knee, massaged their neck, had conversations with them on AOL or other exposures. I will ruminate on this book for a long time. It wasn’t entertaining but it was thought provoking. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A fascinating take on abuse and what it means to be a victim *by M***6 on April 10, 2020* My Dark Vanessa is a story about a teenage girl who engages in an “affair” with her high school English teacher and the rippling effects it has on her life. Vanessa struggles the entire book (both in the past and present day) to decipher where she falls on the victim/participant/perpetrator scale. You can call it denial. You can call it naivety or rationalizations, but the point is, Vanessa exists in a limbo of uncertainty about what her role in the whole thing was. Personally, I found Vanessa to be a complex character (I’ve seen this questioned in other reviews), but I appreciate Russell’s nuanced take on what it means to be a victim and how not all traumas are responded to in the same way. With the rise of the Me Too era, there’s been an exposure of not only the injustices and abuse many people face, but the variety of ways this abuse occurs and how the victims respond. There’s been long held beliefs about how victims should behave, what they look like, sound like, think like. My Dark Vanessa challenges those notions. Additionally, Russelll’s approach to Strane (the teacher) provided interesting insights into the mind of an abuser and not only the methods he uses to groom his victims, but the ways in which he justifies his actions to both himself and his victims. His subtle manipulations. His self-deprecation and simultaneous admissions of guilt while denying culpability are fascinating. It allowed me to see things from Vanessa’s perspective, how she would fall for it. Yes, it gets to a point where she sounds a bit pathetic as an adult, even she admits to that. But Russell effectively demonstrates why it’s necessary for Vanessa to continue lying to herself. None of this would be possible, Vanessa and the situation wouldn’t be believable, unless Strane himself was a nuanced character. He isn’t a stereotypical villain. He’s got a softness to him, a vulnerability that he uses to his advantage. I particularly appreciated that he wasn’t handsome or even particularly charismatic. He was simply good at what he did. Vanessa’s simultaneous attraction and disgust for him show her struggle within. What I appreciate about this book is that Vanessa isn’t just a naïve girl. She isn’t purely an innocent victim. She’s smart, a real person with complexities and insecurities and life experiences that make her ripe for the picking given the aligned circumstances she finds herself in. She’s able to recognize her own culpability in the situation while recognizing that she isn’t really to blame, yet blame she does. This is common for victims of abuse, yet it isn’t a commonality that is often recognized or thought about when these things are discussed. Vanessa’s version of self-blame is more exaggerated than other victims but so is her willing participation and that’s entirely the point. Yes, she is manipulated, but there’s a part of her that knows this and a part that doesn’t care, chooses it. The book is analyzing why she chooses of course, but to write her off as merely a victim, as merely a hopeless cause who can’t understand how she was duped is missing part of the point. These issues and situations are not black and white. There are a large number of factors at play and this book does a good job of delving into them. This is one of those books I couldn’t put down and believe me, that is rare for me. I breezed through it. I felt connected to the character and the story. It’s an easy read as far as the language/writing go. It’s well written, but simple language. This isn’t poetic/lyrical (which I tend to prefer), but it’s still introspective enough to not have to rely on pretty turns of phrases to make the point. I’d consider it literary fiction that borders on pop fiction. It toes the line quite nicely without dumbing things down too much. It’s dark, but not overwhelmingly depressing. I’d definitely recommend it. ## Frequently Bought Together - My Dark Vanessa: A Novel - The Bell Jar (Modern Classics) - Lolita --- ## Why Shop on Desertcart? - 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016 - 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories - 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price - 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members) - 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection - ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews **Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.bo/products/281115229-my-dark-vanessa-a-novel](https://www.desertcart.bo/products/281115229-my-dark-vanessa-a-novel) --- *Product available on Desertcart Bolivia* *Store origin: BO* *Last updated: 2026-06-07*