Shepherding a Child's Heart

Great book for all parents. Biblical knowledge with great explanation

I love this book... I bought it over 15 years ago... And after reading the reviews (especially the bad ones), I had to comment. Most of the comments have to do with spanking and it is obvious that if you are against it, you will have problems with it, (even though there is a TON more advice on all other aspects of parenting than just spanking). The reason for this review is because when I first read this book, I was against spanking too, but because of this book I have a new understanding of it, and have only used it once on each of my two children. If you have an open heart and mind to hear what is being taught in this book, instead of a "heels dug in" attitude, you will learn a lot about what it means to be a Christian parent and have spanking as part of your discipline, even if you never have to use it. I was invited to a parenting class at a friend's church that used this book.. I was in a place of discouragement. I felt out of control when it came to knowing what was right and wrong with raising and disciplining kids. My mother never once spanked me as a child. I spanked my son (at 2) once and that was it.. I felt horrible and abusive. I vowed never to spank again. I then became a Christian when my kids were 5 and 2.... this book put into perspective God's intention of authority. We are all under some kind of authority.. and it should be respected for various reasons... This book taught me that spanking must not be violent, done in anger or out of frustration. and the first time I used SACH practice, I explained to my then 5 year old that because he broke a rule, he would be punished and his punishment would be a spanking. To go to his room and think about what he had done and wait for me. I took about 10 minutes to settle down, prayed for God' guidance and wisdom and then went to my son's room. I told him to take down his pants and lay across my lap (he still had his underwear on) and I said, "Because you broke ....... rule, you will be spanked now." and I lightly slapped his bottom, no more than than like lightly slapping a mosquito off your hand. He cried more because he was sorry for what he had done than any "pain" from the spanking. We talked about why the rule is in place, why it is important that he follows it and that mommy and daddy make rules because we are older and wiser and only wish for his safety and happiness. I never had to spanked my child again.. he is now 20. From the moment I read this book, my husband and I started developing a relationship of respect with our kids that demonstrated our love for them out of our authority and responsibility for them. Both my kids are well adjusted and have never been in ANY kind of trouble. They know they can come to us and our relationship is deep, loving and they comment often how they recognize how special our relationship is compared to their friends. We have also acknowledged that we are human and make mistakes, and we own up to our mistakes and ask our children for forgiveness. That goes a long way with kids. but establishing respect and authority with your children will allow them to grow in a safe environment. And putting God in the center of your family showing your kids that you too are under the authority and grace of God will plant a seed of a long lasting relationship with Christ, which I believe is every parent's hope and goal... Happy, healthy, successful kids who love God.

I bought this book as a recommendation from a friend. I wish every parent could read this book before and during the parenting journey. Although this is not for everyone it depends on your view of biblical parenting. The book uses practical examples of how you can help your child with their spiritual growth. It’s not a manual on raising children, however valuable tool of how you can plan the way you will approach parenting. Great tool I have been using for 10+ years now.

This book truly helped me to see parenting differently. Highly recommended.

I'm not a book person, but this was very helpful and took on a very biblical perspective to parenting. Very simple strategies but eye opening. I recommend. My church used this book for a book study.

My friend uses these techniques with her children and I find it lovely the way she speaks to them about what was in their heart when they took a toy from their sister for example. The child really gets it. I want to be like that with my son. It also recommends spanking but in a controlled manner. You do not spank angry. You spank with explanation. For example you might say, "God put me in charge of you to teach you how to behave. Hitting the dog and then mommy when she tries to teach you is not acceptable. I told you not to do that and you did. You did not listen, so now what do I have to do? Yes a spank." You then deliver a spank not from anger but from a place of love and teaching. There is no guilt when you spank a child from that place either because you are coming from a reasonable place. Hugs and comfort and more listening afterwards are perfectly fine as well. The book encourages you to LISTEN more than talk. It encourages you to understand your child and what they were feeling when they took a particular action. An example from the book is a child gets new shoes but is acting spoiled rotten and doesn't want to go to school. It turns out another child wore those same shoes in school and they were bullied by another student and humiliated so the child is afraid of the same thing happening to them. It tugs your heart. Listening more than speaking is foremost and learning how to encourage your child to speak about their feelings as they may not understand how to respond to a question like, "Why?". They may need more probing like "How were you feeling when you did that?" Etc. I am still reading it and i am not an overly religious person but I very much like this methodology. There is a version of this book written for schools that is without religious reference I would imagine. I am not sure how they do that.