It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered

This is one of the best Christian non-fiction / inspirational books I have studied this year! Lysa TerKeurst is a Christian woman, wife, mom, ministry leader, book and Bible study author who found herself in three major life crises in a short time. The situations highlighted in this book to show the power and love of God when we endure similar – or entirely different – circumstances that just weren’t supposed to happen. Circumstances that He can and does use for our good. The author takes us through her feelings and faith challenges she experienced as a result of those situations, and how she wrestled through with scripture, prayer, and reliance on the Lord. Her vulnerability is refreshing, her wisdom inspired by the Lord. “Disappointment isn’t proof that God is withholding good from us. Sometimes it’s His way of leading us home.” (pg. 5) Lysa doesn’t mince words. She does not minimize the Lord in any way, rather, He is everything! She is honest, showing that bad things do happen to Christians even while believing that God is good. She writes in a manner that someone who has been a Christian for any length of time, whether new or seasoned, can grasp when in the midst of a trauma. There are stories of people from scripture, and parts of her own life. The wisdom imparted comes from serious wrestling in a walk with God through painful disappointments. I could see myself in some of her feelings and reactions – not in circumstances like she was experiencing, but things going on in my own life. It isn’t the situations that are front and center, it is how we can learn to respond despite times that simply weren’t what that should have been. Those responses may sound overly simple to those not going through a trauma but are profound to the person who is trying to put one foot in front of the other for one more day. There are two ways we can get through – with God, or giving in to our flawed desires. One quote that is important is “We must set our minds and our hearts on things above by choosing to remember God’s words, repeat God’s words, and believe God’s word about us.” (pg. 65) I listened to the audiobook and read the print copy while doing the associated Bible study (and purchased the e-book), and I feel it is a valuable resource to the person going through struggles or the friend of someone struggling through hard times. Don’t compare the author’s situations to yours; instead, compare your reactions, feelings, and responses. I very much like the writer’s approach to seeking God, wrestling, praying, and getting into scripture. Our responses in times of crisis are vital to how we live our lives from those times forward. Regarding the audiobook, it is read by the author. I felt in many ways as if we were sitting in her kitchen over coffee or tea from the writing style and simply hearing her word sin her voice. Why did I get three formats? Because some things I learn better by repetitive hearing. Other times it is easier to open the book and search for the relevant pages, including chapter endings of “Going to the Well”, “Receive (a scripture)”, “Reflect”, and prayer. Back sections include scripture and helps for situations. I highly recommend this unique and timely book to Christians who are going through trauma of any kind and want to know that God is still in control and appreciate solid biblical teaching.

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way is a deeply honest and beautifully written reflection on hope, loss, and the tension between expectation and reality. Lisa TerKeurst approaches hard experiences with vulnerability and insight, offering both personal stories and spiritual encouragement for those seasons when life hurts in ways we never anticipated. Reading this as someone who has walked through grief, unmet hopes, and learning to trust again, I found this book both validating and healing. It doesn’t offer quick answers—but it does gently point toward resilience, presence, and a God who holds us in the messy middle. This book is for anyone stuck between what life should be and what it is.

A friend recommended this book to me after I had a miscarriage. I haven’t even finished it yet and I’ve cried during every single chapter so far. Lysa’s ability to describe how you feel in the midst of pain is amazing. I have felt so encouraged by her words. This has been a huge blessing during this time of grieving.

I have been going through a lot in my life; my relationship, work, my business, family matters, all while trying to grow into a better me. I got so tied up in how to mail out my life that I failed to even think of how God wanted my life to go. This book allowed me to be completely open to the fact of God controlling my life and allowing Him to do so. I’m a big note taker. I took notes and journaled with every chapter of this book. I’m still going through my tough times but I have a different outlook on life. Sometimes you have to be broken and shattered to be made new. I know that this won’t be the only tough time of my life but with newfound perspective I can honestly say I welcome the challenge. This book along w years of therapy and recent journaling has allowed me to reach a new understanding of life in this garden. It won’t be perfect. It won’t be easy. I will hurt, pain, and cry but as long as I trust God and His will and purpose for my life, He will always turn my bad around for my good. Life in this garden was never supposed to be easy. We are supposed to get cut, scraped, bruised, and broken. This is the only way we will be so torn down by trying to direct our own lives that we have no where else to turn but Him. God wants our eyes on Him at all times. I’ve learned that focusing on Him in tough times makes them a little easier to grow through. If you have kindle you can get this book for free! Don’t waste time on if it will be worth the read. If you want to transform your thinking, Lysa, will go through all of her hurts and pains to allow you connect your life and struggles to hers. She makes you feel like your not alone. Read it!

I just finished this book after starting it on February 22nd, 2021. I am in awe about how touched I was by this book. Going through a rough season currently, I was merely searching for books to occupy my time with. I stumbled upon this not knowing anything about this author Lysa TerKeurst. I felt like examples she has shown on this book, getting into details, was her putting the hurt, feelings, emotions, and everything from my soul onto the pages itself. We aren't even going through the same season or circumstances of hurt, but it still touched me in every aspect. I was taking photo after photo of page after page and sending it to some of my friends. Either as encouragement or to emphasize how it was SPEAKING TO ME. It's unbelievable. I even met up with a friend last night after reading the book and although I have the tendency to not want to share books due to them being returned in terrible condition or lost... I felt THE URGE the share the book with my friend immediately. Lysa really shifted my perspectives on how to see struggle and pain. The way she ends her chapters are extremely helpful because they legitimately re-iterate EVERYTHING I was trying to keep a mental note of when I was reading through them. In addition, they have bible verses to look back at, as well as legitimate questions that we should ask ourselves. She encourages us not to think on the surface level of our feelings and situations. I was so encouraged reading this book and I highly, highly, highly recommend anyone to read it—with an open mind! Don't think about how you cannot relate to her situation of divorce (as I am not even married myself!) but know that it doesn't matter what place of hurt you came from, you are not alone. And your pain does not have to define you. I shared the same feeling she had about my experience molding me into a more compassionate person and wanting to help anyone I can, knowing the hurt they may be feeling. The way she ends the book with the dialogue also had me in tears feeling like what was written was about me. I'll buy this book as many times for as many people if need be.

I bought this book after watching Lysa preach her "Life Between Two Gardens" message at Elevation Church; my life group is actually doing it as a study right now. There are some thought-provoking nuggets of wisdom in this book, it's very easy reading, and the the chapter-end quotes, scripture, and prayer are helpful and tidy. It's even better done with the study guide and video series. Lysa speaks in a very relatable, true, and honest way, and there's a lot here to encourage people on their walk. I wanted to give this 5 stars, but I took one away because there are times, in my opinion, that the book veers away from authenticity to cliche. I'm not sure I would get enough out of this book on its own to buy it as a stand-alone personal study, Lysa's true voice, earned wisdom and gifted teaching comes through best in the accompanying video series, and that's where the real value lies. If your church buys the video series, I 100% recommend buying and reading this book. Without the study guide and videos, it falls a little short to my mind, but your mileage may vary.

This was an absolutely wonderful book. I read it in two days. And my perspective is definitely different from before. I appreciate the author for taking her time to share with us.

I was initially drawn to Lysa's book because I was searching for hope in my own life. At first, I thought the idea of healing after infidelity seemed impossible and daunting. But as I read through her story, it became clear that God had a plan and purpose for my suffering. With profound insight, Lysa shared how God used her own journey of pain and suffering to restore her marriage and health. Through this book, I was reminded that God's plan is greater than any human intention. The stories shared in Lysa's book spoke directly to my heart as I went through a similar experience. Not only did Lysa provide practical advice on how to rebuild trust, she also included powerful promises of hope that resonated with me. She showed me that God was in control and offered a tangible way to embrace His presence and provision during difficult times. The most powerful thing I took away from Lysa's book is the reminder that no matter what we're going through, God can turn our brokenness into an opportunity for growth and transformation. Her words encouraged me to accept the divine invitation of restoration in my own life. I am so thankful for Lysa's book and the way it helped me find hope during a time of incredible pain and confusion. If you're going through a difficult season, this is definitely worth a read!

There are so many raving reviews that I bought this book, wanting to heal, from many traumatic experiences and a recent horrifying experience that left me financial loss and and trust in humanity. I picked this up with an open mind but chapter after chapter, I read things which I'm confident we already know or have heard from sermons or closed ones. You know, the usual advice one would have given. I give this two stars, at best, and will move on to other Christian writers.

Es una hermosa herramienta de estudio

This author has been through a few thing in life and shares in an open honest and encouraging way. If you are struggling with hard or dark times, this book is worth the investment and so is her devotional book “Seeing Beautiful Again.” Catch a couple teaching On YouTube if you are still not sure. I am working through several of her books and am finding them to be very helpful and sometimes painfully helpful!

The timing of this book for me can only be God. My husband left me 7 months ago and I still can't breathe properly, I can only prayer that there is reconciliation like Lysa has for my marriage as well.

I know now that it has a reason when we have hard times. And how to get through it with love and praying