Telling Yourself the Truth: Find Your Way Out of Depression, Anxiety, Fear, Anger, and Other Common Problems by Applying the Principles of Misbelief Therapy

In the 1980’s, I had a best friend and two co-workers try out to be Los Angeles Police Officers. Back then, there were three areas of testing that you needed to complete before joining the Police Academy. These areas included passing college level classes based on the Administration of Justice, additional tests for physical agility and the dreaded Psych test, a verbal exam. One of my friends would do fine on the Administration of Justice and physical tests for agility but he could not pass the Psych test. He would eventually take this test three times before passing. The part he was tripped up on had to do with telling lies and admitting to stealing. I picked the brain of my best friends who had passed the Psych test to council my distraught friend. The LAPD assumes that all people in some way lie and steal. As one of my other friends told me, this attitude of assumption is necessary for officer survival and safety. My friend who took the Psych test three times could have saved time if he read Telling Yourself the Truth by William Backus and Marie Chapian.Author William D. Backus passed away in 2005. He was a licensed Minister, psychologist and founder of the Christian Center for Psychological services. He wrote many books, including his final book still in print called What Your Counselor Never Told You. His co-author is Marie Chapian a psychotherapist, Christian counselor, writer of children’s books and poetry. She was nominated for the Ten Outstanding Women of the Year award. She lives in California and has written more than twenty-five books. Marie Chapian practices humility and often does not add her PhD degree to her name. Their book, Telling Yourself the Truth was first published in 1980 and has gone on to sell more than 750,000 copies.The book Telling Yourself the Truth, like the LAPD Psych test, assumes that all people lie even too themselves. The authors’ call “Misbelief Therapy” the self-talk programming designed for us to help ourselves. It “involves putting the truth into our value systems, philosophies, demands, expectations, moralistic and emotional assumptions, as well as into words we tell ourselves. “ When our every thought is the truth, we sweep away the lies and misbeliefs that enslave us. Our lives are radically changed for the better and happiness is the result.The purpose of the book is to help us possess the happiness we desire and to be the person we would like to be. The authors’ encourage us, “to live happily ever after with the person you are and make a profound effect on those around us because of it.” This immediately brings to mind the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus called happy people blessed. They are people “spiritually prosperous with joy, satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions.” This text has in depth coverage of how to defeat unhappiness. We can define happiness as a continuing sense of well-being. Happiness is a state of feeling good about life, others and self. We can also define happiness as the absence of mental and emotional discomfort and pain. As stated earlier, the Bible calls happy people “blessed.”There are three steps to programming yourself to becoming the happy person we were meant to be. These include step one, locating your misbeliefs. Misbeliefs are irrationalities that are not easy to label. The authors of Telling Yourself the Truth write, “Most of what we tell ourselves is not in word form. Our thoughts are often images or attitudes without words attached to them. You may feel uncomfortable and isolated in crowded places but never actually put these feelings into words. You may be fearful of a thing and avoid it without really knowing what’s going on in your belief system at all. It is not, however, events either past or present which make us feel the way we feel, but our interpretation of those events.” Our feelings are caused by what we tell ourselves about our circumstances either in word or attitude.Our misbeliefs are the cause of emotional turmoil and destructive behavior that people insist in engaging in, even when we are aware that the action is harmful. Misbeliefs appear as truth to a person because we constantly repeat these negative and harmful behaviors to ourselves. Negative verbiage or thoughts using words like, I can’t, I always, everybody does it, lead to distorted statements that our body accepts without question. These words can create emotional aches and pains. Our misbeliefs can be labeled a mental poison. You are the controller of your happiness. The truth is, the Christian does not have to strive for the approval of everyone around him.Step two in telling yourself the truth involves removing the negative self-talk and misbeliefs by arguing against them. Step three challenges us to replace misbeliefs words and phrases with truth. For example, when you are lonely you might tell yourself, “I’m lonely and miserable”. To counter the misbelief, tell yourself, “I’m alone but I am not lonely.” Another example would be, “I’m a failure.” Instead, tell yourself, “I may have failed but I am deeply loved by God. Therefore I am important.” When we learn to see the truth about ourselves, we also learn to argue and get rid of the lies that would eventually destroy us.The authors’ remind us that what we believe is all-important to our emotional and mental health. It makes a difference what we believe. To the Christian, belief is an easy concept to understand, especially when we practice a belief in Christ Jesus. Other people, events and material things will not make us happy. What we believe about these things will make us happy or unhappy.It is our choice to say truthful things about ourselves. When we hear our- self-saying something false, we must stop and say aloud, “No. I don’t want to say that. It is not true. I have many quotes highlighted from the book and this is the best, “If we do not find worth in what we are and what we have now, we will tell ourselves we are less important than others or we have less than others. When we tell ourselves these things, we create unrest within ourselves and in striving to be or have what we think others have; we are always seeking after an invisible unattainable state of happiness which is always out of our grasp.” This is a wonderful tactic to use after a study on self-talk and misbelief.Telling Yourself the Truth has been a best-selling book for thirty years. I believe that everyone should read the text and take to heart. The idea that we can misinform our- self with negative thoughts and actions is frightening but this can be avoided!The text is easy to read and I discovered that I kept sneaking off to find the time to continue my reading when confronted with pressing needs and duties. There are not many books that are compelling enough to be shared with a friend, but this is one manuscript with ideas that should be common and not ignored.

Every one should own this book. It will truly change your life and help you break the chains of lies you’ve always told yourself. Amazing read. Have recommended this over and over again!

Thank you very much for this amazing book. Came in handy for a season of my life I needed it most.

Telling Yourself the Truth has been a book that has gone a long way toward helping me retrain my thinking. I'm starting to see that so much of our reactions to life arise out of the self-talk that goes on inside our own heads. Unfortunately, a lot of that self talk is based upon our past experiences and hurts and we tend to see every situation filtered through those past events. But a lot of the time, this filter that we use doesn't apply and thus it creates a lie or misbelief. Telling Yourself the Truth helps set us free from these misbeliefs and starts helping us see things without the chains from our past.In my case, I have been struggling with recovering from a divorce. Having failed in marriage, I had conditioned my thinking about relationships and marriage with the feelings of failure and a fear that any relationship was doom to failure. I was afraid to try again and afraid to even be vulnerable. Teaching myself to tell myself the truth and not buy into the fear and doubt and lies of my self talk is a journey that I've begun with the help of this book.

This book was amazing we are taught to recognize and then redirect or eliminate damaging SELF TALK. Most of us already understand many of the concepts in this book. When reading the book I discovered not every chapter spoke directly to me. But a book like this does not require each chapter to connect with your own life. Primarily because we all walk a slightly different path but have similar life experiences. This book completely regenerated the way I think about myself, energized my faith and increased my self confidence. Tar baby is a metaphor suggesting our 'SELF TALK' is a controllable attitude or mind set. Many things we were taught and especially the way we speak to ourselves sticks to us, accumulates until we are so heavy with pain, disappointment, sorrow and fear we are stuck in a rut covered with thick tar. While on this earth we need to deal with the consequences of sin. It is maring our souls and destroying our self worth but God sees us through his son and loves us unconditionally a healthy lifestyle requires work. This book will teach and gently encourage us to walk in his ways reminding us to read his word. Therefore washing our hearts and minds by the healing power and purity of God's word. Learn to recognize signs of self destructive self talk... What your triggers are. You will not be disappointed read it and pass it on to your loved ones or friends!!! That's what I did. Bought 2 more books gave them to my daughters and then my sister bought the book read it and was impacted positively it is very easy to read and understand! Don't become a tar baby be regenerated and liberated it's a journey but attainable!!!

AWESOME!. Loving this book. Mind Blowing.

Every day we tell ourselves thoughts that are not what God would have us believe. It minimalizes the life God wants us to have. Great book. Changed my life so much. I've taught this to hundreds of people and have seen dramatic life change. By the way, it has a small group study guide at the back of the book.1. Identify your disbelief2. Argue against it3. Replace it with the truth

This is the most practical and sensible Christian book I have ever read. I have not just read it, I have used it for a bible based support group as well. This did not take away from the spiritual views of things either. If you take it seriously and apply the examples and exercises in the chapters you will see a difference in your life. I am a facilitator and found this to be a great tool!! thanks so much.

I read this book 30 years ago when it was first published. I recently read the book again 30 years later and I am amazed at how this book has influenced my thinking.The book talks about what is call "Misbelief Therapy" which involves three steps (1) locate and identify the misbeliefs in our thinking, these are lies we tell ourselves. (2) Argue against these misbeliefs, we counter these lies we find in our self-talk. (3) Replace the misbelief with the truth, Biblical truth. After the introduction of misbelief therapy the rest of the book illustrates and reinforces the application of these three principles.

What a find! This is a must for any Christian who thinks they don`t quite make the mark and have been led to believe that they have to have an "I`m saved and should be happy" face and yet fail miserably. The reason they fail is because the truth hasn`t set them free. Don`t get me wrong this isn`t a wonder book that will change your life immediately, it takes work on your part to come to a point of agreement with the Word of God.What I particularly liked was the chapter format of misbeliefs around certain thoughts or emotions, and the way that they are smashed and the truth is revealed, a truth that will allow you to live with yourself with a lot more ease. Once read applicable chapters can be dipped into time and again to gain encouragement when needed.It is an easy read, not complicated, but practical in layout and expression. There is also a study guide included in the back of the book, giving opportunity to really think about what has been written and the belief system of the individual.This book has the ability to make people content with themselves. Some of the chapters cover the areas of anger, depression, self-hate and gives insght into how to change wrong thinking. This has certainly given me the courage to admit I have believed absolute rubbish and I am now on a journey of change.Quote from introduction says "The Bible says it is the truth that sets man free. Jesus Christ is the living trith. When we inject the truth into our every thought, taking a therapeutic broom and sweeping away the lies and misbeliefs which have enslaved us, we find our lives radically changed for the happier."I would definately recommend this to all who have struggles with themselves, with God and want to be free to be who they are meant to be, not the person they have become because of misbeliefs.

good read

If you are a perfect, well-balanced person this book is probably not for you. If you are a normal person with problems of worry, stress, fear, depression etc. this book IS for you. It makes you look at the way you usually think and shows how to change your thoughts and remove so many of your problems. One slight problem for me: this is very much a Christian book as well as a self-help book and I am not religeous! If you are a practising Christian you will really love the book. If not you will still get some of the most helpful advice to improve your life.

Dr Backus hits on so many fundamental issues. Expose the lies that you unwittingly believe and replace them with the truth.