The Polyamory Breakup Book: Causes, Prevention, and Survival

I can't speak to the value for others but for me, in a 15yr marriage that's in the early stages of being opened, this book has been wonderful. It's very pragmatic, clearly with much experience behind it, and is refreshingly clear that the majority of "poly relationship issues" are common to vanilla relationships also; it divides into "generic issues" and "poly-specific issues" and really walks you through them, the mistakes, the misconceptions, what you can (or can't!) maybe do to fix things.It points out that one of the greatest and most common mistakes is simply picking the wrong partner - b/c you don't understand your own needs clearly, or you willfully or accidentally misunderstood theirs. This I found to be a terrific insight.Plus - an excellent and pointed reminder that to be successfully poly you _must_ be excellent at time management and planning! - it's a very, very practical book.There is an excellent discussion of jealousy, and sage advice that while it's casually supposed that jealousy is the monster that slays many poly partnerships, that actually it's less passion-driven aspects like time management and making sure needs are understood and met are the more common fatal errors.Terrific book, at least for where I am at on the path. I'd say it's excellent reading for all adults in relationships of any flavor, frankly.

Overall it was a good read and had lots of scenarios which was nice, but a lot of the advice felt like common sense or very "yeah. Duh." For example, when going through a breakup the number one thing you need to do is self-care... i think most people know this already; I would have appreciated more actionable information.All in all not bad for poly beginners.

As a practicing polyamorous person, who has seen communities and families torn apart by bad polyam break ups, this is a good resource. I choose 4 stars and not 5 only because I feel like this book as a POV of a specific type of polyamory that isn't the only type out there. It is also almost purely anecdotal, which is legit because we don't have a lot of peer-reviewed studies about polyamory out there - much less breakups. But it would have been interesting to see how polyam breakups overlap with other breakup studies like those from Gottman (the four horsemen, etc).Overall, it should be on the forefront of polyam communities to establish some best practices around breakups so that folks are not forced to take sides, and the collateral damage from breakups can be minimized. I think this book is a good resource towards that end.

I bought this book as a bit of a proactive response to my foray into non-monogamy. I really appreciated all the ways to think about compatibility and the many examples of relationships ending or transitioning.

9.5 / 10.Excellent interview based observations from seasoned poly people for experienced poly people and monogamous couples.Covers 11 reasons relationships fall apart, only 1/3 of which are unique to polyamorous dynamics.

We read this book as a book club selection. This truly is a Polyamory 201 level book.Fantastic insight from an experienced therapist and professional who takes the time to break down why relationships break up, what reasons are universal, what are exclusive to consensual non-monogamy and what we can do to build better relationships.Sometimes the insight was obvious, while other times you might squirm under the uncomfortable realization that your own choices and patterns may have lead to some of the breakups the book describes.Because the first half covers general break up reasons, the book can add value to any person regardless of relationship structure.I have read a lot of polyamory focused books and this is now in my top 5.

Another insightful, wise book from Kathy Labriola!Many case studies, and years of experience as a counselor have made her uniquely qualified as an expert on this subject.Her scale of intimacy levels would be helpful for monogamous couples as well as polygamous relationships.Her books are smart, practical and useful.

Full of useful anecdotes. A great balance of narration and explanation. Definitely recommend for anyone looking for guidance on healthy relationships, poly or mono.

The book has a good structure and is a very easy read due to the many real life examples from her interviews. I especially loved the breakup reasons that have nothing to do with polyamory, but through a polyamory lense. I liked that the breakup stories around time and energy were about people who had 2-3 partners. The book ends with a few stories how some people managed to transition their relationship, which gives hope.I deducted one star, because all the stories are in the continuous text. I would've liked some optical distinction.

Amazing and very sensible advice based on Labriola's experience as a therapist and deep knowledge of how poly relationships work. Not a book about ideal scenarios but about everyday situations in poly relationships, both heterosexual and lgbti. Thanks to Labriola and Eve Rickert (editor) for publishing this indispensable book, together with The Jealousy Workbook.