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B**P
The most important book parents, teachers, and anyone who works with kids should read!!!!!
Seven years ago I found the earlier version of this book and have been using it in my practice as a mental health counselor ever since. It is, by far, the most important book in my library and I urge all the parents of the kids I work with to purchase, read, and use the CPS method. I also urge teachers and school administrators to read the two book Dr. Ross Greene has written specifically for use in schools to eliminate corporal punishment, detentions, in-school suspensions, and out of school suspensions. If you want to stop behavior problems, READ THIS BOOK AND USE THE METHOD!
N**E
learning how to relate to an explosive child
I cannot say enough good about this book. We adopted 2 boys, both having FASD, one presenting very explosive behaviors. Most times we wouldn’t know what provoked him. He was in therapy with a Dr for 7 years (he’s 10 now). We finally pulled him out of the useless therapy. Public schools gave up on him. (Actually a good thing). He was admitted to a therapeutic day school. The entire staff are therapists, and trained in behavior therapy. AMAZING. But after reading this book and implementing plan B, the improvement we saw at home has been amazing. We are now seeing behavioral issues way less often. I highly recommend everyone, parents and foster parents to read this book. It brings everything into perspective. Your family will be so stress free, just by not walking on eggshells constantly
J**R
Game Changer
This book was enthusiastically recommended to me (along with Motivational Interviewing) when I was struggling with a teenage foster son. It has been a game changer with my elementary schooler, who is generally well-behaved but sometimes oppositional.The book teaches a simple recipe for working WITH a child to troubleshoot issues, called Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS). The focus is working with children who are oppositional, reactive, or stubborn to brainstorm and implement solutions that will satisfy both the child and the adult. Over time, CPS can help the child meet expectations, improve the overall climate of the relationship, and help the child develop better executive function. It's simple enough that even I can remember the steps, haha.I would make one observation: TBRI is a prerequisite for CPS; they complement each other. When a child is empowered through feeling safe and calm and having basic needs met, and is primed to learn through playful connection, then the door is wide open for CPS. And CPS will reinforce TBRI; it’s a corrective approach that will also further empower and connect the child. A great way to learn TBRI is to read The Connected Child or to watch the Karyn Purvis Institute videos. Watch the teen TBRI videos if that's your age group.
C**R
Good for teens but less for small children
I'll start by saying there's a lot of helpful information in this book and it definitely have me some things to think about as a parent. It's definitely not as universally applicable as advertised though. It describes a very specific type of challenge and is better suited for parenting teens with explosive personalities than small children with big feelings. Again it's good information just not one size fits all.
A**N
Glad I read this book
Great book with simple tips to really understand your child's issues and reduce tensions.
K**S
Eye opening
Such a great book! This book is super eye opening. Though its still hard to try and implement the technique. Its a must read! Anyone who parents or works with children should mandatory read this. Therapists, teachers, parents, coaches
K**D
very helpful
Read this book looking for answer and created a better way to communicate with not only my kid but with everyone. Very helpful
A**S
Children can't solve all of their problems
My first-grader has had difficulty going to school. My ex-husband's girlfriend has found this book helpful in her work with foster children, so he recommended this book to me. I said, the child isn't explosive. She gets overwhelmed and can't face the day. He said the book is about more than just explosive children. Rather than miss a possible answer, I bought the book. There are a lot of examples of children acting out in the book that did not fit my child, but the basic premise of the book is that children do well if they can, so ask them what they need to solve problems. I think that is a reasonable premise. It isn't unique to this book, but it is reasonable. However, sometimes children have big problems. My child saw her parents separate, the effects of my tumor and surgery, and her dad and his girlfriend start blending families, all within one year. What she needs is impossible. But what she does asks for is to stay home from school and be held all day. I snuggle and hold her as much as I can at other times, but some days it seems there are not enough snuggles possible to fill her up and she can't face the world. Her needs are reasonable and she is doing a great job of telling me what her needs are. But school is not optional. She has to go to school. The premise of this book is fine, but what can be done when a child has big, reasonable needs like stability and security that cannot be met, through no fault of the child's? Sometimes grown-ups have responsibilities for creating situations, and in some cases labels like "Explosive Child" can potentially give parents excuses. It is possible that asking a child to solve their own needs could potentially be twisted into something unhealthy, especially in the case of young children adapting to gown-up problems.My child says what she needs clearly, "I need snuggles". But I simply cannot fill up her need for safety and security enough. That isn't on her. I can't just pat myself on the back and say, "I invited her to solve her own problems, I did my part." I don't know how to solve these problems, but I do not see that a label like "explosive child" (or imploding), "chronically inflexible", or even "behaviorally challenging" is helpful in our situation.
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