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H**I
Insightful Writing Easy to Understand - Very Helpful
I picked up a few books on self-defeating behavior and attitudes. This one is by far the most helpful and relevant. While other books can go on and on describing wild self-defeating behaviors, this book nails the core of everyday problems in plain english. I like how clear the writing is, how well it summarizes our pitfalls - "Self-defeating behavior occurs when we fail to learn the lessons that life tries to teach us. It represents the victory of impulse over awareness, immediate gratification over lasting satisfaction, relief over resolution. Self-defeating behavior invariably begins as an attempt to make ourselves feel better. It is a coping mechanism. " There, the author encapsulates exactly what I've been going through and from which I try to break free. I love that the first chapter of the book is "Chasing After Love and Approval From a Parent". So many of our frustrations and regretful impulses stem from a longing for approval and love at home and the misunderstanding thereof. The author is a practicing psychiatrist, not just a researcher. His generalization seems grounded in years of observation and clinical experience. When he says "almost everyone I see in therapy has conflicts with a mother or a father, and these invariably affect their relationships with spouses, offsprings, colleagues and friends", it made me look inside myself in a new way. I'm very excited over the findings he's presented in the book. For example, I'd never relate procrastination to loneliness. I like how plain and clear the writing is, how easy it is to understand. I can relate to the sentiments described in the book well. It's very sympathetic. "Actually, unless you are the rare son or daughter who articulates your needs clearly, your parents probably don't even have a clue as to what you want from them. All they know is that you're displeased - and that bewilders and saddens them." I feel like talking to an old friend who knows exactly how I feel. It made me develop a sense of forgiveness and love towards others that didn't seem possible before. Best of all, the book presents simple rules to follow and actions to take to improve our behaviors and attitudes. It's a small book, 177 pages - every chapter is straight to the point.
J**.
wonderful straight to the point advice
This is a great book to have on the bookshelf. Will definitely be reading chapters of this one over again.
V**Z
Identify your weaknesses to work about them
There are things you can change with little effort, there others which will need more effort, but are some things that won’t be almost impossible to change. To understand those issues will help you to have a mild productive life. From the forty conducts listed in the book, I identified twelve which were critical in my case, I printed them in a little card to remind me and be conscious about them.
T**W
Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy!
"Your honesty, combined with the information and advice in each chapter, will give you the confidence and wisdom to leave self-defeating behavior behind and move forward to a more satisfying future." ~ IntroductionMark Goulston and Philip Goldberg believe that self-defeating behavior is the real reason most people end up in psychotherapy. So reading this book might actually save you money! There are forty small chapters so reading this book is a breeze. Some of the topics include:ProcrastinatingGetting So Angry You Make Things WorseTalking When Nobody's ListeningTaking Things Too PersonallyLetting Others Control Your LifeNot Moving On After a LossNot Asking For What You NeedMost of the chapters begin with a story of someone who is struggling to overcome a certain self-defeating behavior. Then the authors make comments about what should be done. At the end of each chapter there is a "usable insight" and a section called "Taking Action."For instance, in the chapter on "Assuming the Hard Way is the Right Way," the authors tell a story about someone named Paul who was suffering from constant headaches and insomnia. He was studying to be a lawyer but really had a love for coaching basketball. He thought he was doing the right thing but instead was making himself sick with stress. So the usable insight is "Sometimes the easy way out is the right way in." The taking action section explains how you should look for ways to turn what you enjoy into a meaningful pursuit or career. Paul thought if something was too easy or enjoyable you couldn't call it a job.So I think this book is helpful as well as practical and it addresses a few problems I haven't seen in other self-help books.~The Rebecca Review
A**L
Amazing book
Very eye opening and beneficial to get rid of toxic habits
J**U
Wasn’t what I expected.
I read a lot of self help books for my self and to find help for family. I did not finish this book. It did not keep my attention. I found my self putting it down reading other books or doing different things. Might help others but books don’t help if they don’t keep interest. Sorry
S**H
10 Years Later and I have finally put this book back on my radar!
This was purchased during a low point in my life and I am happy to report that I still have it! I enjoy the concept of self-help books and have since shifted my focus to faith-based self-improvement books but this book is still a great read!
Trustpilot
2 weeks ago
4 days ago