You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles for Keeping Life in Perspective

"You Can Be Happy No Matter What" is a distillation of wise and liberating advice. It is exactly the book you're looking for if you are distressed or confused. This is the book for you if you're thinking, "I don't need a pep talk or a complicated theory -- just some simple, reliable advice!"I am amazed and grateful that the late Richard Carlson -- mere slip of a young man that he was -- understood human happiness so well. In this book, Carlson synthesizes so many powerful truths of the world's wisdom traditions. Sorry, I'm getting carried away. Let me get to the point:According to Carlson, happiness is our natural state. Painful emotions are not natural and inevitable reactions to inherently painful circumstances. Painful emotions are actually reactions to painful and distressing thoughts. They form a pattern of emotional reactivity: they feed on their own fire. And if we "follow" these reactions -- if we try to solve the problems that seem so urgent in their light -- we will not find happiness. We will simply dig ourselves into a pattern of emotional reactivity, convincing ourselves all the while that our occasional glimpses of relief are the result of our frantic problem-solving.As radical as Carlson's view may sound, there is much scientific evidence to support it. Recent brain research verifies that people who regularly produce and rely on feelings of love and well-being are indeed very happy, and suffer from no reduction in their ability to think or solve problems. Long-term, happy meditators, (such as the Buddhist teacher Mingyur Rinpoche), were exposed to loud noises and cries of distress in the lab. Their heart-rates immediately increased to facilitate rigorous physical activity. However, they did not experience psychological distress. The startle-response was notably absent in these monks, and the sound of women screaming and children crying triggered a feeling of compassion, rather than feelings of distress or fear.Dr. Martin Seligman frequently refers to studies which show that happy people act in more compassionate ways than sad people, and happy doctors make more accurate diagnoses. This research suggests we do not need to rely on fear and distress to recognize danger and help other people. In fact we do a better job of helping others and dealing with complicated situations when we are feeling peaceful.One amazon reviewer brought up an interesting concern: if we follow Richard Carlson's advice and avoid solving problems while in a bad mood, will this stunt our psychological growth? Don't we need to develop tolerance to emotional distress?Richard Carlson does indeed advise us to have less tolerance to emotional distress. His advice is to acknowledge we are feeling bad, and try not to analyze our feelings or take them too seriously. Although I appreciate this reader's point, I believe Carlson's approach is consistent with classical definitions of emotional tolerance. When we tolerate strong emotion, we allow for its presence in our body and mind without feeling compelled to believe there is a terribly urgent problem in our lives which we must immediately solve. I also believe there is a slightly different model of growth here: in Carlson's approach, growth is not accomplished by analyzing our habits or psychological problems. It is accomplished by having a more peaceful attitude, characterized by a calm demeanor and loving interactions. Loving and peaceful adults tend to form deep emotional bonds with others and become deeply invested in their communities. By contrast, adults who have spent years in introspective self-analysis may be highly skilled at articulating their emotional patterns, but they may still be depressed, isolated, and cut-off from their communities.In summary, "You Can Be Happy No Matter What" is an excellent book of time-tested wisdom, whose conclusions, I believe, are supported by recent scientific research. This book changed my life for the better. I hope it will do the same for you!J Jennifer Matthews, author of "Radically Condensed Instructions for Being Just as You Are"

If you've ever wanted to be inspired to take that first difficult, but necessary step to happiness, in all aspects of living instead of just existing, then THIS book is for you. I believe this is one of the best books I've read 'to see' and understand the why and how we think, feel, and act each day that keeps us all 'tied-up' and continuously stressed. Richard Carlson has written a wonderful, and enlightening frame of reference we need to understand the 'how and way' to take that first difficult step out of gray-land, and into the sunshine. After reading this book, the way I look at myself and the world around me has literally shifted in a paradoxical way, and I pleasingly feel and exude joyfulness. It is amazing to me to realize that my 'present' feeling of well-being and happiness are due to reading and digesting 'You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles Your Therapist Never Told You'.If you're grappling in the dim light of shadows, and just functioning to get through the day ... and you want to be freed from that existence ... you need to read this book. You will be amazed, as you start reading, of how your perception of your world will change by the turn of each page, and you realize it is possible FOR YOU to step into and breathe in sunshine, and smile, and 'feel' happy.

This book is a Must Read for those who want to acknowledge the highs & lows of moods, feelings, and generally the way the mind works. Richard Carlson's books have most definitely become an indispensable staple in my book collection. I guess you'd have to read at least 2 of his books to get some quality advice from them, although this particular book gripped me like an invisible self-psychiatrist in getting a hold of my moods, feelings, and acknowledging separate realities and the way the mind works in all of us. It goes on to discuss the 5 principles1-Thoughts2-Moods3-Separate Realities4-Feelings5-Present Momentand then chapters on applying these principles into your everyday life and how they can work for everyone. Most of this is common sense, but nevertheless a real eye-opener in how, why, and what you can do to get a grip on these principles during depressed, stressed, and 'low cycle' times that we all go through in life. Most people know what the 5 principles above are to a lesser degree, but what you didn't know Dr. Carlson fills in the blanks of how & why they affect your overall mental health and what you can do about it, to thus (hence the title) get a better heads up with what you can do to clear the fog during moody or distressful times, or are having a bad day in general. I highly recommend the book..i.e.1) You Can Be Happy No Matter What by Richard Carlson <and>2) Shortcut Through Therapy by Richard CarlsonIf you haven't read them yet, do yourself a favor and do it at your earliest convenience before another book on fiction, self-improvement/self-help, because after you read these and start acknowledging and applying these easy to use principles your life will have a drastic change in bettering yourself. Applying the principles has nothing to do with complicated graphs or charts, and just by reading each principle and corresponding application of the principle, you will absolutely have a crystal clear way of understanding how your moods & feelings work for and against you, and NOT becoming overburdened by some of life's many pitfalls. I wouldn't be givning this book enough justice if I didn't say that the 2 books mentioned above(especially the one in this review)have become literally "Life-Shaping" in their own and have really expanded my thought processes to put those negative moods/feelings in 'Check' so they don't bother me as much as they used to. I firmly believe that anyone who puts some time aside and dedicates themselves to reading and remembering the things said in these golden little tomes will eventually be succeed in many different aspects in their own lives. I can't stress getting these two books enough. If 2 books were worth their weight in gold, these would be them. Gain control and harness your thoughts, moods, and feelings, and accept that the (So-called down days (low-cycle days) are only obstacles that push you back from achieving your maximum potential in crucial area's of your life. 5 Stars all the way baby!!

This book really gets you thinking in a different mind frame. It has changed my life and I have recommended this book multiple times to others. A lot of this book seems like a refresher course on things you already know, but it does train you to think in a different manner. This book really snaps you back into reality, if you pay attention to its true message. It’s very well written, and the price point is very good. This book is worth its weight in gold and is a very valuable tool in my opinion. I don’t really get depressed anymore.

Very simplistic strategy to be happy but ever so effective!Short and sweet book. Nicely written and easy to read!

O livro que me ajudou na cura de uma crise depressiva e me impulsionou a superar uma fase muito difícil. Com ele, aprendi que nós controlamos o nosso pensamento; que o pensamento implica em um sentimento; e que esse sentimento é apenas um reflexo do pensamento que o antecedeu. Não é porque estamos tristes que pensamos besteira; mas sim justamente por pensarmos besteira que ficamos tristes. Parece óbvio, mas entender o sentido e o alcance disso me deu um novo olhar sobre o mundo e estendeu os meus horizontes sobre a vida.

I bought and read this book in 3 languages over the years. I gave it several times as a present. It still is very high on my personal best-list of the books I own. This can change and better your life for sure.

This book is for everyone! If applied, the ideas in this book can literally transform our lives and make us thirsty for a higher purpose in life instead of the petty roadblocks we encounter right now and are brooding over. Really awesome material and is in coherence with spirituality.